What does it mean to live unbound?

I built the life that looked good on paper, and it was empty.

What happens when we arrive at success only to find the goals we worked so hard to achieve are not actually what we desire? The life we thought would bring us happiness reveals itself as a facade, and we’re left with ourselves at the bottom of another mountain.

At the age of 19, I was the youngest general store manager in a company with nearly 400 stores, and I was managing one of the top 10. In just nine months, I’d doubled sales from $1.5 million to $3 million and won multiple awards for my achievements. I had started this job as a way to put myself through school, but then I found myself making the equivalent of what I would make as a therapist after finishing my degree. I liked working, and I made great money... what else did I need?

Not long after achieving all that success, my life began to crumble. The foundation I’d built everything on was the equivalent of straw. With hardly any friends or family surrounding me, I became addicted to my work. It became an excuse for not having a private life. And then, right before I turned 21, I received news from my doctor that made me question everything.

Up to this point, my only thought about children was what a nuisance they would be to my career. Being a mom felt like such a reach, I just couldn’t see it in my cards. Until I thought, “What if I can’t have children after this?”

The feeling didn’t match the logical explanation in my brain.

Everything I’d built my identity around began to unravel.

I questioned everything. “What was the point of my life?” I was having to slow down, and when I was forced to take time off work, I was left with nothing but myself. The childhood I was working so hard to outrun had finally caught up with me.

Life has a mysterious way of confronting us with the subconscious material we attempt to drown out with noise. It gets buried under the expectations we’ve inherited, the identities we’ve grown into, and the definitions of success we spend years pursuing. Until one day, something cracks the foundation holding it all together.

Suddenly, we’re left looking at the life we’ve built, wondering how we got here.

We’re woken from the slumber, and the question surfaces...

Does the life I’m living actually reflect who I am and what I desire?

I’m Paige, and I’ve spent nearly two decades exploring the relationship between identity, self-expression, and the choices that shape our lives.

This first crack in my illusion occurred in 2009, and for many years, I held onto the belief that making it through this experience would leave me with answers to the secrets of life. Like if I recalibrated and found myself on the right path, that would lead me to the ultimate destination.

But that first awakening wasn’t my last.

Years later, I found myself facing a different version of the same question.

I’d built a successful children’s clothing brand from a $15 sewing machine and an old t-shirt I turned into a pair of baby leggings for my son’s first Thanksgiving. What began as an attempt to heal my postpartum depression and satiate my own desire for fashionable baby clothing had grown into something beyond my wildest expectations.

But somewhere along the way, my desires began to change.

I discovered a love for helping other people pursue their own ideas and navigate the uncertainty of building something from nothing. I knew I wanted to move in a new direction, but I struggled to walk away from the identity I’d created and the success everyone else seemed to believe I should hold onto.

I stayed longer than I wanted to because I couldn’t quite give myself permission to let go.

When I finally did, I began building a rich, fulfilling life that looked very different from the one I’d been struggling so hard to maintain.

Now here we are, seventeen years after that first awakening, and I’ve found myself navigating yet another unexpected transition. This time, stepping away from a business I helped build because I’ve come to recognize that what I wanted when I started isn’t necessarily what I want anymore.

What I’m realizing in this chapter is that each of these experiences has revealed something different about the ongoing relationship between identity, desire, definitions of success, and fulfillment. And through conversations with others I’ve met along the way, I’ve begun to notice similar patterns in our stories. It’s led me to explore the underlying narratives that connect our experiences.

Sometimes we’re pursuing someone else’s definition of success. Sometimes we’re holding on to something because of who we believe we’re supposed to be. And sometimes we’re simply no longer the same person who wanted what we’re working so hard to achieve.

We cling to outdated narratives, expectations, and identities that no longer fit because we’re convinced that letting go means failure.

Like somehow, we’re broken. What this chapter has helped me understand is—

I’m not broken, I’m evolving.

It’s been my own evolution that’s taught me what it is to break free from stagnant narratives that attempt to keep us caged. Narratives that convince us we need fixing, as if growth itself were evidence that something was wrong with us.

I’ve come to understand that fulfillment is found when we question the definitions of success we’ve been handed and begin defining it for ourselves. And perhaps just as importantly, when we give ourselves permission to redefine it as we evolve.

Living Unbound is an exploration of the art & alchemy of living consciously.

This is a place to explore the relationship between our inner world and the lives we create. From the beliefs we hold and the stories we tell, to the spaces we inhabit, the things we make, the careers we build and the beauty we find along the way.

In my own journey, I’ve found tools and perspectives that have helped me better understand myself and the patterns shaping my life. Astrology and Human Design have given me language for experiences, tendencies, and cycles I once struggled to articulate. Books, mentorship, and creative exploration have also played an important role in expanding how I understand myself and the world around me.

References to these tools and resources will be sprinkled throughout, in hopes that you find your own connection to the Self that resides at your center.

Some of what I share will be deeply personal. Some will be philosophical, challenging the way we’ve been taught to understand ourselves. Some will be creative doses of inspiration and beauty, reminding us to find joy in the journey. And some will simply be an attempt to put words to something felt but not yet understood.

Living unbound doesn’t mean we have to abandon everything we’ve built or reject every expectation placed upon us.

But it begins with self-awareness. Living unbound means learning to recognize what belongs to us, what we’ve inherited, what we choose to keep, and what might happen when we choose differently.

When we begin relating to ourselves more consciously, we create the possibility for deeper connections with one another and the world around us. We create space to experience deeper peace and more love. We build a foundation for a life that feels meaningful and fulfilling, even as we continue to evolve.

An invitation

If you’ve ever questioned whether the life you’ve built still fits who you’ve become, or wondered whether your definitions of success actually belong to you, you’re in the right place.

If you’ve ever felt like you need a permission slip to be who you want to be or felt the pull toward the wilderness of your own life and wondered where it might lead, I hope you’ll explore it with me.

Subscribe to receive new essays, poetry, inspiration, and reflections in your inbox.

Let’s walk this path together.

xx, Paige